I HEART birds
You are amazing.
I love your work on stamps, in Portlandia sketches (I have put a bird on it), Angry Birds, and Sesame Street. I am a personal fan of the blue tit, baby owls, and Pierre the Pelican (so much material here–thank you, New Orleans).
But enough is enough. Today I gave the birds an eviction notice with the hope of becoming snug as a bug in a rug (as illustrated below by my husband, who didn’t know I took this picture).
I’ll let you know how they take it. If they don’t leave I might have to call Fish & Wildlife or the Parks Department.
Jessica M.H. Smith
My Window Sill
June 24, 2014
To the Birds in Possession of Window Sill at:
PLEASE TAKE NOTICE Multiple warnings have been issued regarding your early morning tweeting. Your unmitigated chirping is a clear violation of Chicago City Noise Ordinance 11-4-2900.
I, your landlord, have banged the air conditioner under which you shelter a number of times, specifically on the mornings of 28 May, 29 May, 5 June, 7 June, and 24 June.
Due to the failure on your part to fulfill your end of the de facto agreement between man and beast, I have no choice but to submit this notice of eviction.
You have 2 hours to comply with this request, which is the bird equivalent of 48 hours.
Jessica M.H. Smith,
Not a Morning Person
PS — Enclosed are resources on avian insomnia, and avian domestic resolution (I don’t know what you’re tweeting about, but maybe she’s a real nag and you guys are just trying to work it out), avian relocation (basically just fly away).