Everyblock Ode to an early morning honker in Chicago

Louie CK knows how I feel

I just posted this on Chicago’s EveryBlock, a public bulletin board for neighborhood communication. Such heroic behavior deserves mention.

This is an ode to the early morning honker, the person giving a ride to an unseen passenger this very Saturday at 6:30am. I don’t have kids and selfishly expect sleep, so you reminded me of that. You must have known I was in danger of sleeping in on this non-work day for me. Thank you, person who probably has a cell phone and could have called said passenger to notify them of arrival, for your brusque honk-honk-honk, a trinity of super quick cacophony, for not only making sure I saw the sunrise, but for testing to see if my sympathetic nervous system was working. FYI: It is. Thank you, because I frequently forget about it.

Thank you for honking when you could have easily double parked in a quiet & empty Lincoln Square to flag down/ ring the door of said passenger, because this way I get to imagine–for just a beautiful second–what it’s like in New York or Hong Kong at noon on Tuesday.

Where, I must ask, did you learn such spectacular common courtesy? You must have taken a course from the early morning clamorous crew at Lake Shore Recycling Company. Those guys are common courtesy pros, frequently arriving at 5:45 or, on their more lazy days, 6:40 or so, and doing their job with such aplomb. Those guys know how to get it done, and by it, I mean making my Circadian rhythm like that of a mutable jazz solo. And I really like jazz, so why not syncopate my very being? Noise ordinance 11-4-2900, you are for obedient losers.

I nominate you, sir/ ma’am, for a Nobel Prize for common courtesy. Please feel free to enter your own nominees for this prize in the comments.

Signed,
Sleepy coffee shop patron

PS–If you’ve seen this scene from Louie, I feel like it captures the wonder of this moment I experienced this morning:

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